1-5-11

Dear Wednesday,

I love you!
Ok, so I wake up go to school. First period is my bible class :) Coach Welborn is still as awesome as he was last year! We mostly took notes but that was okay. Second period I have a new teacher, Saralee Stevens, its a video analyzing class, so all we will do is watch old movies. We are gonna watch people like Charlie Chaplin (idk if I spelled his name right) then third period was English with Mrs.Loafman. We are starting to read a story. Woop.
Then my mom came to pick me up (at 1:30pm) and we went to my doctors office (Dr.Robinson) and my appointment was at 2:30pm but my mom thought it was at 2pm, but I didnt mind getting out of class early lol So then I waited until 2:45pm just to get into the office so I could get weighed! Then a Texas Tech student started talking to me and I told him how my year went and what medicines Im allergic to and Ive tried and stuff like that. Then at the end I was like "So I've been feeling depressed lately since the last medicine I got here didnt work so I want to be put on different pills" So then he goes and talks to some resident, the resident then comes and talks to me, its already almost 4pm! And he basically repeats what I told the other dude. Which made me mad. Then they nodded and acted like I was a hamster they were experimenting with. It pissed me off! So the resident dude went away, the student came back. Told me to get my mom, and he'll go get my doctor! Ugh, finally! lol So then Dr.Robinson came in and told me the pills I was on before WASNT FOR DEPRESSION! ARHG! Like seriously? I could have killed myself because of your carelessness! I came in for depression a year ago! And Im back so NOW your actually going to put me on antidepressants? Oh, I mean, are they real this time!? So its almost 5pm when I finally get home, with my new prescription. My mom said I could go to church, so I got ready, and we headed off with the laundry so she could do it.
At church (Monterrey Baptist Church) Chris (my youth minister) started talking about sins and stuff and it made me think. I might be baptized but Im not all that interested in God. How do I know he's real? By faith? Just having faith something is there or something is going to go a certain way doesnt mean it is there or that something is gonna go a certain way. Am I suppose to believe the bible? Its just a supernatural story for grown-ups. My friend Hannah kinda hinted that she wouldnt be my friend if it werent that I understand kind of what she's been through. I know she is trying to become a better Christian, but that hurt. Lately Ive felt like she was a true friend. I guess I just dont know anymore.

So then church ends and my mom comes and picks me up. Then we went to pick up the rest of our laundry, and now I am about to go to sleep since I have school tomorrow. I wish school would end quicker, I could learn about God, I could see Bailey, and my depression would be over with.