1-10-11

Dear Monday,

Well I did not want to wake up this morning. I was sooo tired. Last night I had a huge headache and couldnt fall asleep. I woke up at 8am and got ready so I could go see my councilor, Martha. I guess she could tell that I wasnt telling her something, although I had forgotten about it, but then I remembered so I told her about what Jacelin and I had wrote to each other. Now some people dont know who Jacelin is, so I will tell you, she is my ex-best friend. It hurts to say 'ex' because she was so close to me and I still love her like a sister but she just stopped talking to me. It hurt. Like extremely. And I'm fed up with trusting people and getting hurt. I told her from the beginning. I should have listened to myself and not of gotten close. But I did get close, and it ended up with me getting really depressed. Anyway, I guess I could have helped the situation but when someone doesnt really respond what are you suppose to say? I'm still here for her, though, I hope she knows that. Well then I went to school. I want to transfer. Im not even gonna ask my mom. She will say no. I know she will because she will have to take me to school and 1) we dont have gas money, or any money, really 2) we dont have a good running car and 3) its the second semester and its the worse time to get a transfer. It sucks that I'm stuck at a school where no one cares if Im there or not. Its just, no one understands that. And if they do, they dont care enough about me to try and help the whole stupid situation. Ugh, its so.........just like life. 
Well I went to school, ate lunch, came home, then mostly just sat on the couch. Im not in a good mood, Im tired, and I just dont wanna be here right now. I hope this week ends quickly. Friday is the school talent show, $5 for a ticket, dont they know that I'm poor? That Im trying NOT to ask for money? That Im not even getting the yearbook I wanted so much because I just dont care anymore? That Im tired of hearing the words "we'll see" or "no"




Just a shout out: Thanks to Emily, Daniel, and Hannah.
True friends? I think yes! :)